The dishes aren’t done. There are toys on the floor, laundry waiting to be folded, and somebody is probably asking you for a snack even though you feel like you just fed everyone.
You finally sit down.
And then, almost immediately, you hear that little voice in your head:
I really should get back up.
There’s still so much to do.
I don’t have time to sit here.
I’ll rest when everything is finished.
Except… when is everything ever actually finished? Spoiler… it’s never finished! And if your life looks like mine or any other average mom, there’s always another load of laundry. Another meal. Another mess. Another question. Another little voice calling, “Mom!”
If we wait until the house is quiet and the to-do list is empty before we let ourselves rest, we’re probably going to be waiting a very, very long time.
I know this because I’ve done it too. I have sat down and immediately started thinking about all the things I should be doing instead. It always ends in the worst burn out that lasts days if not weeks.
And I think a lot of us moms need to give ourselves permission to stop or a minute.
Why Do We Feel So Guilty About Resting?
I think somewhere along the way, a lot of us picked up the idea that being a good mom means always doing something. If we’re cleaning, cooking, homeschooling, running errands, or checking things off the list, we feel productive. We feel like we’re doing what we’re supposed to be doing.
But sitting on the couch almost feels sinful. Suddenly we’re wondering if we’re being lazy. We start treating rest like something we have to earn.
Motherhood doesn’t come with that magical moment where you finally reach the bottom of your to-do list and everything stays done. There’s always going to be something.
So if rest is something we only allow ourselves after we’ve accomplished enough, we may never feel like we’ve done enough to deserve it.
Rest Is Not Laziness
As Christian women, I think there’s another piece of this that we sometimes forget. God Himself gave us a rhythm of work and rest. In Genesis, after creation, God rested on the seventh day and blessed it. Obviously, God wasn’t tired and needing a nap. But He gave us something to notice there.
Rest has a place. It’s not some failure of productivity.
Jesus understood this too. In Mark 6:31, after the disciples had been busy serving and ministering, Jesus told them to go away to a quiet place and rest for a while. They were doing good and important work, but still Jesus told them to rest.
I think that’s worth remembering as moms. Sometimes we convince ourselves that since the work we’re doing is for our families, we should just keep going. But loving your family doesn’t mean you have to respond to every need the second it appears.
It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong when you’re tired. Our bodies, our minds, and our ability to care for our families are gifts from God.
Taking care of those things isn’t selfish.
So What Does Rest Actually Look Like?
Maybe you’re reading this thinking, Okay, but what does rest actually look like when you have kids? Because let’s be honest, a peaceful afternoon alone in a completely quiet house isn’t exactly realistic for most moms. Especially when your kids are little.
So maybe we need to stop thinking about rest as some big, elaborate thing. It doesn’t have to be big, it can be small. Set aside 10 minutes when you need to and:
Sit outside while the kids play.
Drink your coffee while it’s still hot instead of immediately getting up to do something else.
Read a few pages of a book.
Sit down for a few minutes to pray.
Take a walk.
It can even be deciding that one completely nonessential chore can wait until tomorrow. And you know what? That’s okay. Rest doesn’t have to look impressive. Sometimes you just need to sit down.
Give Yourself Permission to Stop
There’s a difference between ignoring our responsibilities and recognizing that we have limits. We can be responsible moms and still need a break. We can love our families deeply and still need some quiet. And yes, we can have a messy house and rest anyway. I think one of the hardest things for me to remember is that the house doesn’t have to be finished before I am allowed to be finished for the day. There will always be something else, so maybe instead of asking ourselves:
Have I done enough to deserve to rest?
We can ask:
What do I need right now so I can continue loving and caring for my family well?
Try This
You don’t need to completely change your routine and you don’t need to schedule a whole afternoon away from your kids.
Just start small.
This week, find one moment when you would normally push yourself to keep going and give yourself permission to stop instead. When that little voice starts telling you that you should be doing something else, remind yourself:
I don’t have to earn rest.
I am allowed to be tired.
I am allowed to have limits.
I am allowed to sit down even though there are still dishes in the sink.
Your family doesn’t need a mother who is constantly running herself into the ground trying to keep everything perfect.
They need you.
Your presence.
Your love.
Your patience.
And sometimes taking care of yourself for a few minutes is part of being able to give those things. So let the dishes wait, let the laundry stay in the basket, take a breath, sit down, and rest.
You are allowed to.