My husband and I have been married for a little over a year and together for a total of four years. We are new to Christianity and want to reflect what God has intended for our marriage. God designed marriage to be a reflection of love, commitment, and selflessness. I am still learning to be a good biblical wife and am not perfect at it by any means but I would love to share how I am intentionally setting up my marriage to honor our Lord.
Intentionally setting up my marriage looks like simple everyday acts of love with a faith-filled twist. Here are a few ways I show love for my husband on a day to day basis.
I Pray for My Husband
I pray for my husband’s strength, wisdom, patience, and faith. I ask God to keep our marriage strong and I also ask for guidance on how to encourage him. I say a little prayer for him on his way to work, or before I go to bed at night. Praying for my husband and letting God do His magnificent work have strengthened us. I see it in the daily flow of our lives, and it’s all because of our Lord.
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. - James 5:16
I Encourage and Respect My Husband
I encourage and respect my husband through my actions and my words. I thank him for the life he provides for us. He works hard for our family so I can stay at home and homeschool our children, and I am very grateful for that. I make sure I respect him in front of others. I don’t say awful things about him or air our private life to everyone we know. I also actively choose kind words during our disagreements. This was something I used to be terrible at and he deserves better than someone screaming negative words. I want him to know he is appreciated.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. -Ephesians 4:29
I Try to Create a Peaceful Home
No one wants to come home from a hard day at work to what looks as if a Category 5 hurricane blew through their home. (At least I know I wouldn’t!) Before my husband comes home my kids and I tidy up. We make sure the house looks clean and ready to relax in. After the kids clean up their toys I give them an activity to be quiet with, usually a book or a coloring sheet. I put on soft music. Lofi or slow worship music is my favorite. I make the environment a relaxing one so the moment my husband comes home he can kick his shoes off and slow down for the day.
Part of keeping a peaceful home includes cooking for him. This is something I am still trying to learn. I am not the best cook or meal planner. I follow online recipes that I find on Pinterest. The food turns out okay. I have a hard time putting a grocery list together or even deciding what to eat every day. Struggles aside, I want to make sure it’s one less thing my husband has to worry about.
My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest. -Isaiah 32:18
I Make Time to Connect With Him
I believe it is crucial for married couples to intentionally spend time together. I mean actual time together, not just sitting in front of the TV or during meal times but going on dates or doing activities. We either go on walks, go out to eat, or play board games at home. We’re intentional about setting aside time for just the two of us. He is my best friend and it is a blessing to spend every day with him.
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. -Proverbs 27:17
I Serve Without Keeping Score
God has called us wives to serve our husbands with love. I’m not talking about waiting on him hand and foot. I mean I do nice things for my husband without expecting anything in return. I cook dinner and still do the dishes without asking him for help just because I cooked the meal. I never let resentment grow. I am constantly picking up his soda cans and throwing them away. I don’t yell at him for having to do it fifty times in a row. I serve him just as Christ serves his church.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. -1 Corinthians 13:4-7
I Continue Growing as a Wife
I am still learning to be the wife God has called me to be. I continue to grow in my faith and let our Lord show me how to be what he expects from me. I want to set a great example for my daughter on how to be a great wife to her husband. This is a journey, not a saved-to-perfected kind of deal. I give myself grace when I make a mistake. I’m still new to all of this, but I’ve learned that showing up with love, even imperfectly, is enough to honor the marriage God gave us.